Letting Go

WOW!!! The past few weeks have been extremely stressful for Matt and I and I fear that some of that stress unintentionally came across in my last blog. My apologies for that. I figure that if people, especially those physically far from us but emotionally close to us, want to know what's going on I might as well be honest. It's a matter of being in a relationship, right? You get the good, the bad, and the stressed out!

Anyway, I am so thankful to God for our friends. What a blessing this weekend has been. Friday, we got to hang out with our very close friends Mike and Lisa. Saturday night we got to eat some very nobel attempts at Texas barbecue in California with our good friends Joe and Sarah and then Sarah and I got some girl time playing our version of Trivial Pursuit while the boys played video games. Today I got to go to a cute bridal shower after church and do several hours of work thereafter.

Saturday morning, though, was the most fun and really helped me with my stress and perspective. I got to go to trapeze class with my coworker and friend Jenn. I got to learn how to fly through the air with the greatest of ease, do a back flip dismount, and hang by my knees on the trapeze bar. All while flying 30 feet above the air with a net under me. The first run was exhilarating!! I was shaking as I got off the net. Each run after that got easier and easier. While I didn't master the timing to accomplish the trapeze catch, I did really well with everything else!! I'm proud of myself.

It reminds me of a Sex and the City episode in which Carrie is also trying to master the trapeze catch. She is having trouble doing so because she's having a hard time letting go of the bar. The entire episode is about her letting go of her fears and reservations in order to accomplish something new. This is what I thought as I was prepping myself to climb the very tall ladder each time. I've heard it said that fear is a lack of understanding, which is often true. The trapeze instructor this weekend also made a good point: Anything you are afraid of, someone else does it for a living. It was also helpful to remind myself that I may do something for a living that others are afraid of, which makes me kind of proud of myself.

While all the stress and frustrations of my current situation may not have dissipated, and while I cannot guarantee to myself that I will handle stress better in the future, I can remind myself that I have and can continue to accomplish some pretty cool things. I have to learn to let go of my hopes of appearing perfect or completely put together. I have to learn to let go of my expectations to do everything myself and realize that it's okay to ask for help. I have to let go of my dependence on myself and be reminded that I have family, friends, and a very loving God who long catch me and help me fly in a new way.